Saturday, 18 December 2010

Mascot Match-Up: Exeter City v Sheffield Wednesday

Watch out Grecian! He's behind you!
A second attempt to predict the result of a random football match by comparing the teams' respective mascots...

This week's mascot match-up features Exeter City's Grecian The Lion and Sheffield Wednesday's Barney The Owl. Match time: 3pm, Saturday 18th December 2010. (If you are in the St James's Park area tomorrow morning, go along and help them to clear snow from the stadium so that the match can go ahead! If there is no match, then the atmosphere at Exeter will resemble the Cage Against the Machine song, except it will last for 90 minutes instead of 4'33").

Apparently, Grecian The Lion replaced Athena The Goddess as club mascot a couple of years back. Athena was a young, buxom blonde woman in revealing Greek robes. She was more "one for the dads". Mascots are supposed to exist to entertain feckless children, for which Grecian is far more suitable. Thus, he scores a GOAL!

However, looking at him in the picture, I suspect he's been out drinking Blackthorn cider with one or two dads before the match. Looking at his eyes (a surefire way of counting how much alcohol has been consumed), I would suggest he's had at least five pints. For his undoubted bar-room bonhomie and joviality, I award him a second GOAL! (I bet he's a terrible singer when imbibing though. If I hear he's been trying to sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight, he may well lose a goal...)

Barney The Owl seems to be one of several owls that appear as Wednesday mascots - another is named Ozzy, and um, there's at least one other that I've seen in pictures whilst "researching" this piece... Barney looks handy with a football at his feet - he's taking aim at Grecian's backside in the picture. Can't see him missing that target, so there's a GOAL! for SWFC.

Going by his name, I'm assuming Barney is a barn owl (despite having completely the wrong plumage). The largest barn owl babies in the nest tend to eat all their brothers and sisters through boredom (I'm starting to wonder where Ozzy and the others have gone in the picture now. Oh dear). Being the last owl left out of his siblings would make Barney nice and strong - probably stronger than a drunken lion. With strength being a much-prized commodity in the third tier of the English league, I'm going to award another GOAL! to The Wednesday.

So, Barney has mad ball skillz and strength; Grecian is great with kids, and enjoys a cider or two. I can't separate these two, which means that my official prediction for the match is...

Exeter City 2-2 Sheffield Wednesday



The final score in Devon yesterday was...

Exeter City 5-1 Sheffield Wednesday

So, I  got that one completely wrong! I can only surmise that eating your brothers and sisters is considered a VERY BAD THING INDEED, and that Barney was severely punished for doing so.

I shall attempt another prediction for the Boxing Day fixtures. The random match-up will come from the second tier of the English leagues. I'm just hoping it won't produce a second tear for my predicting reputation.

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