Saturday, 11 September 2010

South Today Attacked by Giant Cats!

South Today's transport correspondent Paul Clifton.
It was supposed to be a normal, everyday kind of assignment for South Today's transport correspondent Paul Clifton. Reporting on a spate of giant trucks being stolen by under-fives in a quarry just outside Petersfield, he suddenly became aware of the look of dread on his cameraman's face. Turning around slowly, he froze in terror as he saw a giant cat staring back into his eyes.

The terror turned to amazement as the cat spoke: "Miaow! I only want a drink of filthy truck-water!"

It was Hello Kitty's fiancé, Minty!

Apparently, the quarry had been the site of a nuclear waste dump in the 1960s, and Minty had drunk some radioactive water, which had caused him to grow to the size of a house! Not only that, but he could talk like a human too!

How they all laughed when they realised what had happened!


  1. Absolutely brilliant! I love Paul Clifton; he is such a stalwart on South Toady. Gets all the bum jobs and is never anything but chipper. I'd love to see some outtakes from an assignment when he has been standing in the pouring rain, or freezing cold...

  2. Normally to be seen standing on a bridge over the M27, temperature dipping well below freezing, reporting on road-salt shortages...

    Poor old Paul!