The likes of Dennis Rommedahl and John Dahl Tomasson are being replaced by The Laughing Cow of AFC Cream Cheese.
A spokesman re-veal-ed today that she had no beef with the udder stars: "The new player will have the opposition cow-ering with fear. She really is the cream of the crop. She proved recently that she can play on a Friesian cold night in Mos-cow. So long as she takes the bull by the horns and tries not to milk the fans' applause too much, she should start the team moo-ving in the right direction very quickly". She will be awarded the number 9 Jersey for the national team as soon as she recovers from her calf injury.
The Laughing Cow's favourite band is Cud.
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