Cats in the Snow!

As the snow gradually thaws from the south of England, I thought it would be grand to look back at last weekend, with some pictures of cats in the snow!

At the top, it's Tommy running to the back door after relieving himself by the compost heap. This is a rare picture indeed, as I've never seen him run before!

Minty wasn't keen on the snow. Again, this is a post-scraping pose, whizzing through the garden towards the house.

I told my friend Lou that I would be posting these photos, and she kindly sent me some of her cats from last weekend. Above, it's the adorable Nappy, sheltering beneath a snow-laden bush.

Here's Nappy again, creeping gently across the cold cold snow, one paw at a time...

Daisy looks as though she has a snowball on her head! This is, apparently, an optical illusion!

And finally, it's dear old Napkins again, trying to keep dry under a table in his back garden!

That's enough cats in the snow! Something more esoteric next time!

Christmas Cats

Looking a little cross. The tinsel was irritating Minty.

A pair of cute kitty pictures for my 100th PCA post!

Tommy awaits his Christmas treat of giblets in gravy. Num nums!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Happy 10th Birthday to My Cats!

Minty hiding from the local nuthatches. They'll never spot him in there!

Tommy cooling down and looking a little cross in his cardboard home.

It's a big day today, as Tommy and Minty reach the grand old age of 10! Of course, in human years, they would be 52 and wearing beige cardigans as they sit upright in their head-of-the-family velveteen armchairs, smoking their pipes whilst reading the Sunday papers (or whatever it is that 52-year-olds do these days).

Instead of reading the papers, they're asleep upstairs right now, as is the way with cats. Later on, they will have a tasty treat or two and lots of special strokes. They may partake of their favourite hobbies - Tommy rompling on the pom-pole (purring and fussing on a brick column at the front of the house that used to have a gate attached); Minty climbing on my shoulders and having a ride around the garden. Or maybe they'll just lounge around in cardboard boxes?

It's a special day.

Happy Birthday Cats!

Lyrics Quiz 1: The Smiths

Minty with his marvellous collection of Smiths vinyl.

It's time for another quiz. This time it's a lyrics quiz!

Every sensitive soul since 1983 has spent at least some time obsessed with The Smiths. We all know their songs. If you can sing along to their big hits, their small hits, their B-sides and the less well-known album tracks, then you will do well at this quiz. But how well?

Name the songs that these lyrics come from. Seven out of ten will be a great score! I shall post the answers in the comments area next week.

1. Belligerent ghouls run Manchester schools.
2. I broke in to the palace with a sponge and a rusty spanner.
3. Please the press in Belgium.
4. Boot the grime of this world in the crotch, dear.
5. I'd leap in front of a flying bullet for you.
6. "He never really looks at me, I give him every opportunity"
7. I want to catch something that I might be ashamed of.
8. I'd like to drop my trousers to the Queen. Every sensible child will know what this means.
9. I know the windswept mystical air, it means I'd like to see your underwear.
10. I'm going to meet the one I love, at last, at last, at last.

Cute Kitties on the Stairs

Awwww!

 

Enough with long posts! I've had a couple of requests recently for more cute pictures of kitties - so here's one!

It's Tommy and Minty sat on the stairs with a toy mouse. They look tired to me. They could do with a nice, long sleep. Off you go kitties, off to a comfy spot! Don't forget to wake up later for your dinner!

Minty the Ska Protector

Minty and his best friend, Duck-on-a-String

There are not enough pictures of cats on the internet, are there? So, to redress this balance, here is a photo of Minty and Duck-on-a-String, sat on top of a bookcase together, warding off trespassers who might want to get their hands on Minty's favourite Jamaican music CDs.

Good boy, Minty!

The King Of Rompelstan

The King of Rompelstan, yesterday.

According to TS Eliot, in the poem The Naming Of Cats, cats can have up to three names.

Firstly, there are the sensible names that the family use daily.

Secondly, there are names that are peculiar and particular to only one cat: names that help keep a cat's tail perpendicular.

And thirdly, all cats have a secret name, that only they know...

Well, my cats have their everyday names. They are known as Tommy and Minty to the rest of the world.

They also have a variety of peculiar names, according to my mood and their fancy. See Tommy Pom Poms and Minty Minstrel on Kittenwar!(Come on Minty, you so cute! Tommy! Get down from those curtains!).

But recently, I have felt that I have come very close to guessing Tommy's real name - the one that only he should know. I can tell by the loving looks he gives me when I say these names:

Pompadom, Pomplemousse, Rompelstiltskin, and, most revealingly of all, The King Of Rompelstan.

And just yesterday, I caught him wearing a golden crown, just like a real king...

South Today Attacked by Giant Cats!

South Today's transport correspondent Paul Clifton.

It was supposed to be a normal, everyday kind of assignment for South Today's transport correspondent Paul Clifton. Reporting on a spate of giant trucks being stolen by under-fives in a quarry just outside Petersfield, he suddenly became aware of the look of dread on his cameraman's face. Turning around slowly, he froze in terror as he saw a giant cat staring back into his eyes.

The terror turned to amazement as the cat spoke: "Miaow! I only want a drink of filthy truck-water!"

It was Hello Kitty's fiancé, Minty!

Apparently, the quarry had been the site of a nuclear waste dump in the 1960s, and Minty had drunk some radioactive water, which had caused him to grow to the size of a house! Not only that, but he could talk like a human too!

How they all laughed when they realised what had happened!

Minty and Hello Kitty have had kittens!

Lovebubbling news reaches us today from Kitern Villig (Minty and Hello Kitty's secret lovenest)!

Hello Kitty has given birth to two healthy kittens! One of them looks very much like Minty at a few weeks old, whilst the other is said to look just like the young Hello Kitty before she dyed her fur completely white.

The mother, father and kittens were all said to be doing well. Awww!

Cat food review

Minty and Tommy have been reviewing cat food for this publication over the weekend.

Minty (pictured, left, with a mint on his nose) has been trying out Felix pouches for the first time. He recounts here his views on the Turkey flavoured pouch (translated from the original Mintese):

"A good gooey sloppiness when plopping on to my dish (Ed: Is it okay to say "plopping" on Blogger?). Smells almost as good when I burp it up half an hour after woofing (or should that be miaowing?) it down. Educational too: the packet helps me to learn the word for turkey in eight different languages. Did you know that the Finnish for turkey is 'kalkkunaa'. I do!"

Tommy was asleep and unavailable for comment as we went to press.