Alfred and Svetlana

Alfred and his model girlfriend, Svetlana.

Alfred became more and more well-known on the party scene - a "face", a "number", a "dude"... He became an international superstar DJ for the hip young root vegetable set. His cheeky smile, witty banter and wads of cash attracted a raft of admirers, many of them female. He soon became inseparable from a tall, rooty* Eastern European model called Svetlana. He bought her the most expensive mohair jumper ever made, and then splashed out even more on a matching tiara and pink sunglasses. You could see how happy they both were in the photo.

Svetlana gave birth to a can of whole baby carrots (and garden peas...somehow...can't explain that). But the club music scene is unforgiving, and Alfred's style soon became old news. There were money troubles and psychological woes. His rise became a fall, and he fell hard...

* as opposed to "leggy". Carrots don't have legs.