Alfred and Svetlana Went to Sea in a Beautiful Pea Green Boat

Not exactly a pea green boat...

Alfred, formerly a fresh young carrot, had had an interesting life above ground. He could have bored for England with all the tales he had to tell of his evenings as an Elvis impersonator, of his nights as a superstar DJ, and of his days and days as a father to a can of whole baby carrots (and peas...can't explain that).

After their whole baby carrots had grown up and left home, Alfred and his model girlfriend Svetlana decided to buy a boat and sail the oceans, whale-spotting and generally soaking up the sun. They spent all their savings on a beautiful pea green boat (vintage, mint condition) off of eBay. But when it arrived, what a miserable surprise they had. It was neither beautiful, nor pea green. On the other hand, it was certainly vintage, as in "broken".

Ignoring their dream boat's woeful condition, they lashed themselves aboard anyway and set sail for who knows where. Nobody saw them go, and nobody has seen them since. I like to think that they're bobbing around on the Sargasso Sea, playing endless games of chess and feasting on fresh lobsters.

I suppose we'll never know.